Symptoms of insomnia:
- Lie awake for a long time before you fall asleep
- Sleep for only short periods
- Be awake for much of the night
- Feel as if you haven’t slept at all
- Wake up too early
It’s dark. It’s late. I’m tired. Or at least I think I am. I’m supposed to be. It’s 2am. Staring at different objects in the dark, hearing all the strange, peculiar sounds of the dead of night. Shadows look as if they are moving, forming into things…creeping and crawling around. No it’s not real, it’s just the insomnia. Squeeze eyes shut.
Eyes open. It’s 2:23am. I slept for 23 minutes. I think. Rolling over, once, twice, three times. Still no relief. Nothing feels comfortable. It’s darker than it was at 2am. My eyes start adjusting. I want to sleep. My body is begging me to shut down. My brain resists. Maybe I will walk around. Dragging my tired limbs out of bed I stub my foot on a suitcase in the middle of the room. It’s dark, the suitcase is black. Ow. Why is it there? I should unpack…Wandering to the bathroom. My face looks scary in the dark. Dark holes for eyes. Zombie…ghost-like. I run cold water and splash it on my face. I hear a cat wining outside; shuffling around in the night. I walk into the living room. There is a street light outside. Moths fluttering around it. It’s so quiet. Too quiet. I can hear myself breathing. Walk into the kitchen. The refrigerator is humming. Kitchens are eerie in the dark.
It’s 3:30am. I passed out sitting upright on the couch. Something wakes me. A brush of cold air. How long was I sleeping? I don’t remember even falling asleep. My eyes are burning. I walk to the bedroom door. The Mister still sound asleep. How does he do it? Burning with envy. I’m so tired. Starting to get a dizzying feeling. Fuzzy vision. Nothing feels quite normal. Stuck in between reality and illusion. The shadows start to creep. A shape moves towards me. Dark, cold, I feel it float around me. Torturing me, teasing me. It’s not real.
I sink into my insomnia’s spell. The room is now dancing with dark shapes. I reach out to touch them. They float out of reach. Things out of my dreams start creeping into my living room. Nothing makes sense. I find my way to the couch. I lay down and watch things dancing on the ceiling, on the walls. I don’t know if I’m scared or entertained. But I think the morning is coming soon.
Taken by force I slip into a dreamlike state, venturing outside of myself with the creatures of the night. Waiting for morning to save me.