50 Random Facts About Me

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Hello all! My posts have been few and far between 😩 I plan to change that. I miss writing! So very much. S0 this isn’t a creative writing piece. But it’s something I’ve seen all over people’s blogs recently and thought it would be fun! So without further ado, here are 50 RANDOM facts about Miss Blue 🙂

  1. I am a perfectionist…possibly borderline OCD. I like things clean, neat tidy, organized. The type of person who gets anxiety going to bed at night if there is a mess that hasn’t been cleaned up!
  2. I used to want to be an actress. But I have always been REALLY shy. So then I decided I wanted to be a movie director, be BEHIND the camera. But alas, the cards have not lined up that way 😛
  3. I used to be a huge tom boy when I was young. I wore boys clothes. Had a mushroom cut. Played with samurai swords, marbles, POGS, Pokemon Cards, pretended my bike was a motorcyle, and for YEARS I played Tom & Huck which consisted of dressing in rags for the “orphan” appeal, and running in the woods barefoot with my cousins. I was always Tom and my cousin Samara was Huck.
  4. I used to write short fictional stories, A LOT. I have hundreds and hundreds of unfinished stories that I just never got around to finishing. Ranging from romance, to sci-fi to fantasy. A lot of my inspiration came from very vivid dreams, old Disney movies like Alice in Wonderland, and computer games I played like Star Craft.
  5. I’m big into video games. Was at a young age and still am! I had the old school Nintendo. Then upgraded to N64 (Mario Kart & Zelda obsession). Then X BOX (had a huge Halo obsession). And now I have a PS3. I’m currently into Skyrim, The Last of Us, Dead Space and Fallout 3. I also played a ton of computer games that ranged from Age of Empires, to Sims to Rollercoaster Tycoon.
  6. I used to make YouTube videos. But I am currently retired haha. I may get back into one day when I have substantial content to make them with.
  7. I have never broken a single bone in my body.
  8. I’m addicted to movies. I watch way too many. It’s how I de-stress, relax, kill time, get things off my mind, feed my imagination, and escape reality.
  9. My “spirit animal” apparently is a deer lol.
  10. I have a slight obsession with socks. A brand new pair of socks is exciting for me. I especially love really tall socks. Knee length or higher.
  11. I have a slight obsession with collections. When I was young I collected things like rocks, marbles, pogs, gum wrappers, Kinder surprise toys, notebooks, gel pens, Beanie Babies, and lots more. Nowadays I collect things like sea glass, coffee mugs and movies.
  12. I’m abnormally cold all the time. I like space heaters, electric blankets, big cozy sweaters, big cozy socks, scarves and hot drinks. I was meant to live in a hot climate.
  13. I like to think my life is very ironic. I was born in the East Coast. Where seafood is prominent. Yet I’m allergic to all shellfish. I love animals, but I’m allergic to most of them. I love the outdoors and I’m allergic to trees, pollen and grass. I LOVE food but I’m allergic to all nuts and certain seeds, fruits and veggies. I love to travel but my allergies make traveling more difficult. So ironic? Yes.
  14. I scare really, REALLY easily. But I still love watching scary movies and the adrenaline rush I get from them.
  15. I used to collect rodents. I once had 3 hamsters, and 18 mice!
  16. I used to have the diet of an obese person when I was a teenager. If it wasn’t for my extremely high metabolism as a teenager my nutritionist said I would be overweight. I ate so bad that I messed up my digestive system to the point of needing to go on an extreme diet and take vitamins and minerals in liquid form several times daily since I was so deficient in my vitamin intake. Yet somehow I was barely over 100 pounds.
  17. My nicknames in high school consisted of Sterns, Sternzy, Sternsky, Katster, Kate, Tinkerbell and Sternzo.
  18. I love TEA! I refuse to drink coffee except for the occasional specialty drink like flavoured lattes.
  19. I have chronic back disorder, the cause I am unsure of. But I do have flat feet which I think contribute to my back pain. And my back pain now contributes to my neck pain. So basically I’m just a mess. And this also is ironic because I am a graphic designer, which may be the worst job for someone with back and neck pain haha.
  20. During my early teens I used to have an obsession with celebrities. When I had a crush on one I had to watch every single movie they ever acted in, plaster posters of them all over my room, watch every interview they ever did, and I used to make fan fictional stories based on them. Yup real cool of me 😋
  21. I have the utmost appreciation for all art forms. Film, photography, painting, designing, dance, music and tons more. Any form of creativity no matter how unique. I admire all of it.
  22. I’m a country girl. My paradise is a cottage style home with a wood stove, acres of land with wood trails nearby, a vegetable garden and the sound of the ocean from my porch.
  23. My favourite book of all time is The Hobbit. And my favourite movie trilogy of all time is Lord of the Rings.
  24. I have kept a diary every year since I was very young, possibly 8 or 9 yrs old.
  25. Give me a really good, long foot rub and I will do just about anything haha.
  26. My favourite thing in the world to do during the summer (besides the beach) is amusement parks. I LOVE roller coasters.
  27. My idea of the perfect summer day is an all day beach day which consists of arriving at the beach at 8am, being there all day with packed lunch and dinner, stay until about 8pm and then have a bonfire with beer, smores and someone with a guitar. đŸ‘ŒđŸ»
  28. Favorite holiday is Christmas.
  29. Favorite colour…can you guess? 😋
  30. Favorite food: pasta dishes! I love pasta, and basically anything Italian.
  31. I’m REALLY good with faces. I have a photographic memory. Terrible at remembering names, but I will remember your face forever haha.
  32. I have double jointed toes.
  33. I love 80s&90s movies. Some favorites include What About Bob, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, Forrest Gump, Breakfast Club, Armageddon…and the list goes on!
  34. I love to cook.
  35. My favorite painter is Thomas Kinkade.
  36. I want to travel all over but the 3 places I MUST visit before I die are New Zealand, Italy and Iceland.
  37. I prefer ocean over fresh water.
  38. My fear of insects would be my biggest obstacle in my traveling endeavours haha.
  39. The one show that could always cheer me up no matter what is Friends.
  40. I don’t like pulp in my orange juice.
  41. I don’t like crust.
  42. my eyes are bigger than my stomach.
  43. I have road rage and I tend to speed.
  44. I am the epitome of the word HANGRY. If I’m cranky…FEED ME.
  45. All my energy tends to come out at night.
  46. My husband is convinced I am in love with Jake Gyllenhaal. I am not…but he is SO dreamy haha.
  47. I love to shop. Not necessarily the shopping part but the having new things part.
  48. I LOVE SHOES.
  49. I love Apocalyptic culture. All movies, shows, books, games that have to do with the apocalypse/end of the world.
  50. I have a really bad habit of taking a really long time to finish things. It took me two days to write this post haha.

So there you have it, 50 random facts! Hope you guys enjoy learning some random things about me! Until next time…

…Miss Blue…

Internet is officially BACK!

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Hey everyone! It has been a long time. Apologies. But I have to say…this is worth posting about because I officially went an ENTIRE YEAR without internet in my home. I am really quite proud! It was tough. I went through major withdrawals, mini tantrums, accumulated ridiculously large cell phone bills, and became the ultimate library dweller to feed my movie addiction. I may or may not have watched every movie the library has to offer…BUT that being said, I didn’t give into the ultimate temptation of getting that convenience of in-home WiFi back for a whole year and that in itself is a big accomplishment in my eyes!

The things I learned during the process are as follows. I am the ultimate movie junkie. Working all day on a computer can be very mentally exhausting and so movies are a great mind numbing way to unwind every day after work. And I didn’t let not having WiFi at home stop me from feeding my addiction! Although I will say, with the library and video store being my only real source of acquiring movies, I did watch less than I would have if I still had WiFi and access to the ever expanding Netflix library. But I mean, I am a movie junkie to the core. Not just for mind numbing purposes. I truly love and appreciate the art of film and always will, WiFi or not! So it was pretty interesting dealing with that kind of withdrawal. The convenience of WiFi certainly affected my habit in different ways over the course of this year long experiment; and I was able to fully come to this conclusion about my movie addiction. (Unashamedly so)

I learned you need WiFi for almost everything! Checking our bank account, looking up recipes online for meals, paying bills, asking Siri questions about life…checking movie times, emails, Facebook (since the majority of my job is social media based, this was a struggle, because I had to always be checking notifications), I mean the list goes on. So I had to up my cellular data package in order to check certain things on the regular during time at home. Because it’s not always convenient to have to go and track down a restaurant or library with free WiFi.

I learned that there were some days, I literally did not know how to function without WiFi. I knew there were other things I could be doing. Painting, drawing, working out, cleaning, cooking, baking, going for a walk…and tons more. Although I did do all those things…some days I just wanted to do mindless Facebook scrolling, Snap chatting, playing my stupid online games, browse Netflix…I went so far as to driving to a Tim Horton’s at 9PM to use their WiFi so I could get caught up on my Fashion app. Stupid things like this happened on the regular.

So all this to say is, I am glad I went through the experience, because it was eye opening. And I did learn to unplug and pull out a book, or draw on the balcony, I worked out more regularly, started going for runs, and even played a few board games with the Mister now and then. But the cyber world is very much a necessary part of life now and being without it proves many struggles (whether for selfish purposes or basic needs). And if I’m throwing it all out there? Internet is NOT cheap, and it should be. It IS a necessity and people should not have to be spending upwards of $150 or more a month to have it in their homes. That is something I will never understand.

We decided to get it back now, after all this time, because there was a smashing deal available to residents of our apartment building, $100 a month for high speed internet AND cable for 2 years. Which is awesome considering we were paying $90 a month just for basic internet (which was terribly slow) before we called it quits. So only because of that deal did we decide to get it back for right now, and we’ll keep it for the 2 years that this deal is available and then we will reconsider our options.

So there you have it! Proof from an internet junkie that I went a year without internet in my home, and the struggles that came with it along with the positive benefits from it! What I would conclude from this experience is that WiFi is a necessity, but it is definitely extremely important to unplug once in a while and remember the good, simple things in life, like a walk in the woods, exercise, enjoying the company of people, the simplicity of a canvas and a paintbrush or a sketchbook and a pencil, all without technology’s distractions. I hope you will be encouraged to try this experiment for yourself and see how exactly life at home without WiFi affects you! Until next time….

…Miss Blue…

My Experience with NO INTERNET at Home – Entry #1

Happy Tuesday everyone! The last few posts I made have been a little on the depressing side…going through some stuff in my life, and venting it on my blog has been something new and different for me. Sometimes going through hard times can spark some of my very best creative writing pieces, believe it or not!  But I’d like to lighten it up a little bit today with something really new, challenging and kind of exciting for me.

My Mister and I have decided to cancel our internet! The reason behind it is a few different things. First of all, we are currently going through a bit of a Money Makeover together. We’re trying to pay off debt the fastest and most efficient way possible, which meant cutting back on a lot of indulgences and frivolous spending. So we cut down the amount of eating out, we budget everything out each month, split every expense up into different envelopes and stick to the budget as best we can, and putting all extra funds into our debt. Which, surprisingly, you can come up with quite a bit of extra money each month to put on debt when you really watch your spending. It is crazy how much the little things added up.

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Anyways, ages ago we had cancelled our gym memberships (an extra $80 a month) and we cut back on our phone bills somewhat. Then we started shopping at grocery stores with discounts and sales like instead of Sobeys or Superstore (which are ridiculously overpriced) we would settle for Wal-Mart, or local markets for discounted prices. I have always loved supporting local businesses so this was a great way to support local markets and save money at the same time! It’s crazy the amount of money we were saving. Plus once or twice a month we would stock up on certain foods at Costco, foods that we go through quickly, and it really works!local

So we were doing really well, but suddenly our internet bill decided to jump from $60 a month to $90 a month. Hooray!! Not…we weren’t pleased. Now, we are the type of couple that watches a lot of Netflix, and we are on our phones a lot, because we work really long days. So our evenings tend to be laid back and lazy after a long day. I take the bus to and from work, and it is normally a 45 min bus ride both ways. So its like having a 10 hour work day. And Mister works 10 hour days not including travel time. So needless to say, we are pretty exhausted at the end of the day. But we soon decided, paying $90 a month for internet (and this is like the lowest package, not including cable or land-line or anything) was just a waste of money. So after a lot of thought and major procrastinating, we finally cancelled it.

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This is our third week of having no internet at home, and this is what I have discovered so far. First of all, it has been difficult! Not being able to check my Facebook or Snapchat my friends in the evenings was hard. I found myself using my phone data way more than usual just so I can check Facebook or emails and whatnot. I also found it really difficult not to have Netflix on hand to watch our favourite shows. BUT the good things that happened were, we ate at the dinner table for supper, instead of in front of the TV. We ran errands one night that normally get done on weekends, which no one really likes using up their weekend running errands, so that was nice getting that out of the way early on in the week. We spent one night drawing in our sketchbooks, which is something I love doing but found myself never having time or motivation for it being so distracted with the TV or my phone. We got out some books from our book shelf that was gathering dust, and started getting in bed an hour earlier so we could read together quietly before going to sleep. Which, I have always loved to read, but honestly technology totally took over that part of my life for many years, and I hadn’t really sat down and enjoyed a good book without distractions in a long time it seemed like. AND the other cool thing we did, is we went to an ACTUAL movie store and rented ACTUAL movies. It was really fun planning legitimate movie nights instead of having a movie night like every night. So we rented movies so that we could have a movie night on Friday night. I’m actually loving going to the movie store. Its very nostalgic. Mind you it costs alot more than $8 a month for Netflix. But it helps us to just minimize our movie/tv time by knowing we have to spend $6 per movie. It definitely adds up quick, so we know to plan out our movie nights carefully for when we have that extra entertainment cash.

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So all in all, it is going well. We rented several movies the last couple weeks, but that won’t be a habit. We found ourselves trying to ween off the movies/tv time haha. But I can see us being so much more productive, and finding new hobbies, going out on little dates together instead of sitting in front of the TV, having more quality time together, and all the while SAVING money. So this is a super cool experiment and I’m super excited to continue with it. I mean, we have free wifi almost everywhere these days, so if we really need it, a library or a coffee shop is only a short drive away.

I definitely recommend anyone to try this out! See how it works for you! I plan to keep you all updated through my blog on how this process is going and all the different and new things I find myself doing without being stuck on my phone or TV 🙂

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Biscuit Eaters Cafe in Mahone Bay – Coffee & Chess date 🙂

…Miss Blue…

(quotes images found on pinterest, Chess in Coffee shop image taken by me)

Where have you gone?

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I’m angry. Angry at you for thinking only of yourself. I want to be happy to see you, but it’s always bittersweet. I want to tell you how I feel, but I can’t because I don’t want our relationship to be ruined. I want to tell you, you are better than this. You’re letting your selfishness betray you and your morals. Your choices are affecting more than just you. Do you see what you’ve become? I know you are loving and kind and care about those you love, but don’t you see you’re hurting us? Don’t you see you betrayed us? Its a conscious decision. A deliberate choice. You could make it right but you are choosing to do the wrong thing. And it is wrong. Its wrong no matter how you look at it. I know you, I know you are better than this. I have seen you at your best. And your best is THE best. You’re admirable, you’re kind, you’re appreciative, you’re discerning, you’re loving, you’re gentle, you put others before yourself, you’re considerate. All those things have all but disappeared when you made your decision. Why do you spend time with people that add no value to your life? They have no good influence on you. They only feed the wrong desires. You’ve turned to lies and secrets. I never feel like you are being completely honest. I always feel you are hiding something from me. How do I trust you anymore?

I want you to be who you were again. You were everything, my role model, my friend, my leader. I respected you so much. I don’t know who this is anymore. Please come back to us. I love you.

…Miss Blue…

I Come in Blue

Good afternoon!

Today is a good day. I found a beautiful summer scarf that is my FAVORITE shade of blue and matches a shirt I got online that is also my FAVORITE shade of blue. These types of insignificant things make me happy…okay! They just do. So here I am showing it off.

I COME IN BLUE
I COME IN BLUE

That is the highlight of my day…my blue scarf and my super witty and clever “I Come in Blue” while doing the peace sign…haha…get it? Ugh, nevermind.

It’s Tuesday. It’s wet and rainy, and yes my umbrella blew inside out like 5 times during a five minute walk down the street. It was PRETTY unfortunate. But hey…I did buy a couple treats to cheer me up. A strawberry passion flake…and some bits & bites. YES I KNOW…SOOO unhealthy. I am having an unhealthy day, I’m having salt and sugar, and I can’t help it because my only option was a 5 minute walk to the convenient store since its horrid outside. BUT on the bright side, before that, I had some greek salad, and my Green Tea, and before THAT I had my super awesome spinach, kale, strawberry & pineapple smoothie! So I did eat some good stuff today. And hey an apple & banana later for moral support? Oh gosh I’m a dork.

BAD FOOD + banana
BAD FOOD + banana

You want to know something that is awesome? It is SOOOO close to summer. With the weather we are having it is hard to tell…but it’s okay! Because you can’t stop time! It keeps going, and eventually it will warm up, summer will arrive! It’s inevitable! I am getting so excited for summer. I am planning a lot of cool things. I may hit up a couple concerts, a DEFINITE camping trip (or two), possibly a trip to Six Flags, a trip to Ontario for my best friend’s wedding in August. AND let’s not forget the infinite amount of time I plan to spend at the BEACH. OMG I will be there any chance I get.

BUT BEST OF ALL. I am super excited about the ideas I have for some summer designs that I’ll be putting on RedBubble for t-shirts, tank tops, wall art, mugs and more! I have had barely any time or motivation lately to work on anything…but I feel the creative juices flowing lately and there will be some upcoming late night designing to be had! YAY! I don’t know how many of you know about my work on Redbubble and that I design and paint and draw etc. BUT if you don’t please check out my stuff you can buy online (www.redbubble.com/people/caites). Okay so this was kind of a random post about a lot of random, but i just mostly wanted to express my excitement…over my blue clothes, my junkfood, and my summer IDEAS. Talk to you soon guys!!!

…Miss Blue…

Why Tea is For Me

Good Afternoon ladies and gents,

If you haven’t already noticed my homepage tagline…well I love tea. I am a TEA drinker. A loose leaf lover. A tea bag, tea pot, tea cup every day kinda gal. Most people go on about coffee, and their absolute NEED for it to get through the day. Well I am basically like that, except with tea. So much so…that I decided I had to ease up. I’ve given myself a bit of a tea strike. I’ve tried to go a couple weeks only having tea 2 or 3 times a week. But…honestly…tea is really good for you! I don’t know why I am trying to deprive myself. Its literally like my morning and evening indulgence. Kind of like a chocolate bar. I am excited to get to my desk at work and sip on my tea. I’m excited to lounge on the couch after a long day of work, cooking and cleaning, and just sit with my tea and watch a show. Anyways…I’ve decided to list some reasons why tea is awesome, and why it beats coffee any day for me 🙂

1. It’s soothing. Literally, drinking a hot cup of tea soothes me. I don’t get that crazy caffeine high or the need to rush to the bathroom after drinking it like I get with coffee. It’s like a de-stresser. The aroma, the taste, and the warmth of it. It’s like the saying goes: “Tea: a hug in a cup”

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I have this pinned up on my wall in my cubicle 🙂

2. It gives me energy without the jittery-ness or the crash. Tea actually is very healthy and has a lot of good stuff in it, antioxidants and just the right amount of caffeine to give you some energy. When I drink coffee I get like fidgety, and jittery and wired because the caffeine content is higher. And then afterwards I usually crash really hard. (This doesn’t happen for everyone I’m sure, but that is what happens to me!)

3. There are SO many varieties out there! I mean the flavors and aromas are endless. And what’s crazy, I tend to get hooked on certain ones that I just keep going back to over and over…but the amount there is left out there to try is endless. I can try a different tea everyday if I wanted! Chai, white, green, oolong, black, herbal…it’s kind of exciting 🙂

4. Tastes amazing with cream & honey! This may sound strange, but this is how I drink my tea. Although the cream is not always needed, and some teas are great completely on their own. But using honey instead of sugar gives black teas the perfect amount of healthy sweetness without having to used refined, processed sugars that are terrible for you. And Milk is alright in tea, but when I discovered having it with cream instead, I never went back. It makes it rich and creamy tasting which I love. But only in black teas or orange pekoe really. Its good in English Breakfast tea and sometimes Earl Grey. So I suggest anyone to try it, so delicious.

5. So easy to make, and easy for travel. I am a very on the go person. So boiling some water and sticking a tea bag in a travel mug is so simple, quick and gets me out the door in no time. I don’t have time to brew coffee…and instant coffee is just gross. And well, I’m not a fan of the Keurig machines because of how bad they are for our environment as of late. I bring tea bags with me to work, and boil water at work. Throw some honey in a little container and I’m all set!

6. Tea is healthy AND delicious. Tea is so good for you. So many rich antioxidants and healing properties…list goes on. Its like having a mini detox drink everyday. But tastes good too! Most teas out there taste great on their own, and if something is too strong or too bitter or doesn’t strike your fancy, there are lots of ways to add things to it to make it taste the way you like it. For example, green tea, I think is gross. Tastes nasty…but I know its good for me. So I looked up online ways to make it tastes better. Add some lemon juice and/or honey, vanilla extract, mint leaves etc. And it will tastes soooo much better. You can even experiment with two different types of teas together. Today I put earl grey in with my green tea and it made it much easier to swallow lol.

OKAY there you are. Tea is amazing, and good for you, and an all around a perfect treat. I love it and I hope you do to!

Me at work drinking some green tea

OH and for those of you who love tea as much as me, I made a cute little pillow case and mug design for tea lovers alike that you can purchase on my Redbubble page! Check it out here if you want!

here it is on a tea cup :)
here it is on a tea cup 🙂

Alright that is enough obsessing over tea today. See you later!

…Miss Blue…

When Life as You Know it Ends…

Good morning. Miss Blue here.

I’m having a caffeine induced thought cycle going on and figured I should get it out in words, on my ever so neglected blog. I feel good today! I am not sure if its the caffeine, or me having a couple good workouts in the last 24 hours…maybe its because its starting to get warm outside and the seemingly endless, dreadful winter is finally coming to an end. Regardless, I am feeling pretty upbeat at the moment.

This post, however, won’t be so upbeat. So I posted a while back about “Coping with Change”. And i was hoping I was going to have a happy reconciliation post about that. But not so much. Instead…things have remained the same. I am 26 years old, happily married, and have all the morals and beliefs of a traditional Christian woman. I believe in the Bible and live my life accordingly (or try to…not always so easy). And something has happened about 7 months ago that kind of shook up my entire perspective on life. My parents, married for about 29 years, separated. I know to a lot of you, this may sound very common and not that big of a deal. But to me, it is a big deal. It was world shattering. I believe, and my parents strongly encouraged and taught us growing up that marriage is for life. Divorce is never an option. Always stick it through, no matter what, for better or for worse, until death do us part. And my parents were a very faithful and committed couple. I looked up to them so much. And no, their marriage has not always been peaches and cream. They have gone through a lot of pain and turmoil in parts of their marriage. They struggled and fought. But they came through it all. To me, they were a true rock of a marriage. Considering all they went through together, they never gave up on each other. And battled through some of the hardest times imaginable. My sister and I were very much affected by some of things that they went through early on in their marriage. Parts of our childhood was very difficult. But when everything got better, it just made us stronger as a family and it made my parents that much more amazing and brave in my eyes.

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my parents 5 years ago

For many years things were really good again. We moved to Nova Scotia as a family. Had a new, beautiful house that we started a new chapter of life in. But life brought new temptations, life brought new obstacles and challenges. And my parents were faced with another life changing event. It hurt so bad to see the past come back to bite our family again. Another long, difficult journey came and went, and it seemed things were back on track again. I saw my parents more in love and carefree than ever. I got married to a wonderful man who in many ways resembled my father and whom my parents adored. My sister had a baby and got married as well. And boom, they were empty nesters just like that. I wondered what life would be like for them with no more kids in the house. I thought it would be good for them to have time to themselves. Really be able to spend quality time. That is why it chilled me to the bone when they told us they were splitting up. Only 2 years after I got married, and one year after my sister was married. I knew there were things creeping up in their marriage again, and things weren’t perfect. But never in a million years did I think it would come to this. They had been through so much…how could they just give up? How could they let all those years just come to and end?

my parents kissing in the 80s
my parents kissing in the 80s

What am I supposed to do now? What am I supposed to think? Can marriage just end so easily? Can life just change so unexpectedly? I haven’t had any children yet. When I do, they won’t get to spend the night at grandma and grandpas. They won’t get to have their grandparents come over for Christmas. They won’t see their grandparents kissing or holding hands. They won’t know what its like to have grandparents that live together and visit together and take them out for ice cream together and babysit them together. This is so heartbreaking. My husband’s parents were divorced only a year before mine split up. So neither of my kids’ grandparents will be together. They will have to visit separately on every occasion. This saddens me more than anything. Its hard enough having to get together with my parents separately on my own. I hate it. Get together with dad this day, at this place, at this time, and mom on this day at this place at this time. No more double dates with them. We had talked about taking trips together. My husband and I, with them, roadtripping, maybe a cruise some day. That’s all gone now. I hate getting together with them and seeing that they are happy. They don’t seem to miss each other or anything. How is life as a 50 something, single, alone a good time? This isn’t right. My parents aren’t supposed to exist like this. They are meant to be together. My mom is not my mom without my dad. My dad is not my dad without my mom. Mom shouldn’t have to sleep alone in a lonely apartment. My dad shouldn’t have to sleep alone in his lonely apartment and make his own one plate meal, watch tv alone, do life alone. My mom needs my dad. My dad needs my mom. How could they do this? I’m beside myself. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night. Thinking about all the things that will be different now. I shutter and cringe at the thought that they might end up with someone else.

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Am I the only one that believes marriage is for life? Why make those vows? Why get married in the first place if you aren’t going to honor your vows? Why make a 20 plus years, 30 plus years life together to just have it come to and end and try and start a completely different life without each other? Why cherish and love each other and make children together, buy a house together, make financial goals together, have a future planned out together to just cut it short and erase everything you started? It is so baffling to me. Marriage was meant to be a forever friendship and courtship where you create a life, and create children, have grandchildren, grow old together, retire together and love each other through every trial, through ever hardship to come out in the end and say, I made it; and I lived a great life with my partner by my side through it all. Am I right? If you aren’t going to love this woman until death do you part, no matter what, cherish her, provide for her, lead her, and care for her, then DON’T marry her. If you aren’t going to love this man, take care of him, respect him, follow him and build a life with him, then DON’T marry him.

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My parents left a legacy behind with me and so many around them, that hard times can’t break them. They were MEANT to be together. I know this because I witnessed their life together. It doesn’t always have to be beautiful, and perfect, and magical…marriage isn’t just a fairy tale. It takes a lot of work to make a life with another human being. There will always be disagreements and hard times, challenges that will face you. WHY give up??? I don’t understand this world’s view on giving up when things get hard. We are SO much stronger than that. God instilled bravery, commitment, strong will, love, kindness, faith and determination in us. We are truly slapping God in the face by becoming cowardly and selfish. This life was GIFTED to us. We literally trash it…on a daily basis. Our culture, our society is all about whatever is good for ME, whatever is convenient for ME, whatever makes ME happy…this is (excuse my language) bullshit. Love and marriage is a choice, and you better stick to your word and your promise to that person that you chose to marry and love. It’s not okay to just pick up your things and leave when things get hard.

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I understand that there are certain circumstances that can cause a marriage to truly crumble. Abuse is not acceptable. Degrading and belittling, and controlling your partner is not okay. But lets be honest…most marriages are ending because of selfishness. I believe there is recovery and reconciliation to almost any marriage issue. If that couple really tries.

I’m disappointed in my parents for giving up. They were my role models, my husband’s role models, many other people in my family’s role models. And they have truly loved each other through so much. I have seen and witnessed the best and worst times of my parents marriage, and I will tell you, there is not nearly enough reason for them to call it quits. I do see their pain and their issues (even though I don’t see everything), and I know they can make it work. Especially because they both love God and believe His promise. So I have faith and hope that there will not be a divorce. I see reconciliation and them getting back together. I have faith. I don’t know when. Maybe it will be years. But it has to happen. They are not meant to be apart.

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Right now, I’m in utter devastation trying to grasp this new way of life. Making plans with them separately, visiting their separate apartments. I put on a happy face when I see them. But the elephant in the room is always there. Life has changed, and I need to adjust to it for now. But I’m not the type of person to sit around and support their break up and tell them its okay, and I won’t support their new relationships, with other people, if they decide to do that…because its not okay with me. I don’t condone it and I don’t support it. I would not be surprised if I end up “parent trapping” them if I have to. I believe more marriages end these days because their closest friends and family “support” them and encourage their separation. Sometimes being a good friend or family member isn’t about supporting them in whatever decision they make…its being honest and telling them yes, do what you want to do, but I won’t support something I don’t believe is right. My parents should be together. And that’s all there is to it. God knows it, and I know it. And I am going to do what I can, whether it be in prayer or in person, to support their MARRIAGE, not their SEPARATION.

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I think I have vented enough, and this is hard for me to post. I don’t want my parents to be seen as the couple that gave up. They were always the couple in my family that kept going. And didn’t give up during the hardest situations. But they are struggling right now and don’t know how to make it better. But I am here for you mom and dad. I love you and know that your marriage means the world to me, and I will stop at nothing to assure this doesn’t end in divorce. That you don’t become just another statistic. xox

…Miss Blue…