When you want to do Anything but what you are Supposed to do

http://weheartit.com/entry/80799333/via/blahstephx

Today I am having one of those days. I know I need to get dressed, go to work, and be productive. Which is totally fine, it’s life, and it becomes your everyday routine, no big deal. But every once in a while…you just want the world to stop spinning, and for people to stop needing you, just kick off your shoes and let the lazy in! Am I right? Today is one of those days…


It’s that type of day where I wish I was on my couch with my furry blanket, in my PJS watching Fight Club, drinking beer, and eating pizza.

It’s that type of day I would love to just have a MASSIVE sized canvas, tons of paint, Pink Floyd blaring in the background and create some monstrosity of a finger painting (or body painting) masterpiece.

It’s that type of day where hibernating in my fleece sheets in my bed, scrolling through Facebook and instagram, playing mindless game apps, and eating a pint of ice cream would be heavenly.

It’s that type of day where a bottle of wine, some cheesecake and Darren Aronofsky’s “The Black Swan” sounds like perfection.

It’s that type of day where I would love to eat a bunch of heart clogging, teeth rotting treats until my stomach hurt while binging on Netflix and painting my nails.

It’s that type of day where being social is not needed, nor wanted…just a hot cup of tea, a private room, my sketchbook and some psychedelic rock music playing to keep the creative thoughts flowing.

It’s that type of day where sweatpants, messy hair, and watching a bunch of funny Youtube videos would be completely appropriate.

It’s that type of day where I would love to have a bubble bath, glass of wine, put on cozy clothes, order Chinese food and put on Disney movies.

It’s that type of day where I could easily spend hours playing Zelda, the Sims, or Halo.

It’s that type of day where breakfast in bed and a good book would be a great day.


Let’s just be honest…it would be nice to have that type of day everyday. But its always good to shower and get out of the house and do that thing called life! 😉

But one can dream.

…Miss Blue…

(ps: photo found here: http://weheartit.com/entry/80799333/via/blahstephx)

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Coping with Change

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took this photo on an early morning in 2010 at Peggy’s Cove

It is the worst feeling to feel powerless. I am coping…or trying to cope with a big change in my life that happened some months ago. Some days I feel okay, almost completely fine, other days its like waking up and immediately crying. Sometimes I don’t even realize what it is that is making me want to curl up into a ball and never leave my bed. But then it eventually hits me. The reality of what has happened in my life.

It isn’t something I am comfortable sharing openly in my blog at this point in time. So this is my attempt at being secretive…while still sharing my feelings.

It is one of those things that you have seen happen to people all of your life. Something so common, that it would never be a surprise when it happened again and again. We seem to become so naive to something, when it is a common happening in society. Like…oh another shooting, how dreadful, but then quickly move on. Or another person got cancer, that is devastating (because it truly is), and then tomorrow you don’t really think about it. But then when it happens to you…or someone very close to you. It’s a whole other ball game. We really do not know how to deal with it. Our system gets an electric shock. Jolted into a different dimension of your heart that you didn’t know existed. This is not just something you hear on the news, or an article you read online. Its you. Your life is being affected right down to your core. You feel completely alone, even though its happened to hundreds, thousands of other people. How do we become prepared for this? We just don’t.

I knew all my life, people who this thing happened to. This abrupt turn of events for all those involved. But somehow deep inside me, I knew this would never ever happen to me. It was just impossible. Knowing all that happened in the past, knowing the sacrifices, the changes, the strength, courage and sincere regret. Life being unpredictable and chaotic, then changing to closeness, forgiveness and new beginnings. It was certain. This was going to be a lifelong bond. Nothing could come between it. Though things kept happening through the years that sometimes planted little seeds of doubt. I couldn’t be shaken. Things would always work themselves out for the better.

Now here I am, looking back on my naive self. Wondering how I could have seen this coming and somehow prevented it. These detrimental circumstances that is making all hope slip right through my fingers. I guess I couldn’t have done anything…but now I’m stuck wondering what to do. This cannot be my life now. This can’t be how things will always be. I’m not ready for this change. It’s not built in my DNA. It was always someone else, someone else had to go through this, and it was so much easier to be there for that person as best I could, be a good friend, let them talk while I listened. Now its me…and I cannot be that person for myself. I still have days of hope and faith that things will go back to the way they were. But then there are days like this where I am dwelling how empty the future seems now. I’m so thankful for my husband, and that he has been with me through the whole ordeal, lovingly, patiently. But even our future together is affected by this. And we are both thinking about how things are going to be. Our future children are affected. They will only know how it is now, and not know what it was then. It doesn’t seem fair for them to have to grow up thinking this is how life is, but not how life should be.

I guess I am just rambling now…and this might be a pretty confusing post for anyone reading. But I am really hoping that in the near future I can write another post about how things DID go back to the way they were and I can write about how happily this story turned out. And that my future no longer looks bleak. And that hope and faith really pull through in the end.

Tomorrow is another day…and I have to remember that my life is still going to move forward. I can only march on with the hopes of reconciliation and for this to not be a permanent scar…but just a fading bruise…a hiccup in the road. And always remember that faith doesn’t make things easy…but it makes them possible. I can get through, like so many other have and do.

…Miss Blue…

Enter Year 2015

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Resolutions, resolutions, resolutions.

I honestly have never made any. Here and there I have said, “oh I will do such and such this year, or I will change this, I will reach this goal…”etc etc. But truly setting in motion things that mean something to me. Things that are embedded in my bones. Things I want to see happening in my life for good. I have never really thought about it…

So here I am, pondering away at what means most to me in life. I am very different from my 19 year old self. I’m not single, broke, confused, uncertain, undecided, or floating along a path full of mediocre happenings, changing direction at every moment. My 26 year old self has new passions, and new desires in life. I will be 30 in 4 years! Yes, I am still young, but I feel like I am running out of time for some reason. 2015 seemed unreachable at one point. But now its here, and I feel a sudden urge for doing life right!

If I were to list resolutions, in order of importance, in real written words. What would they be…I believe, something like this:

1. Destroying the Debt

My young and naive self never fully understood the meaning. Credit cards were just an easy way of getting what I wanted when money wasn’t right at my fingertips. A way of not having to spend the “real” dollar until “later”. A student loan was, besides pay my tuition, a nice easy way to comfortably buy all my art supplies to my heart’s content, eat out at the college cafe everyday, live off of Tim Horton’s coffee and bagels during my frequent “all-nighter” projects. Fast forward 5 years later, married, no job, with credit cards and my student loan payments about to begin. It really hits you. Now its like a big elephant in the room, everyday. Knowing my income really isn’t my money, because I owe so much of it. Debt is brutal and this is the year to really make a dent in it. My Mister and I are making it our number one new years resolution.

2. Consistency

One of my biggest flaws. Staying consistent with things. I tend to start things and not finish them. Whether it be a new fitness routine, a healthier way of eating, a hobby, a book, a painting, a story, a personal project, tithing at church, doing my devotions, keeping up with my BLOG for crying out loud. I start them and stay on track for a while, but then the interest dwindles, or I get distracted with life, I lose motivation. It is SUCH a ridiculous bad habit that I very much intend to change this year. Staying consistent through each and every task and seeing things through to completion.

3. Travel

I have so much wanderlust in my soul. An immense desire to travel to new places. Sadly I haven’t been many places. I know I may only be able to travel short distances this year because of Goal #1 but, even to get outside my own province, or city for that matter is worth it! Weekend getaways. Oceans, lakes, forests, mountains, anything new and different. This year I want to have lots of little trips. And then the time will come for the big ones!

4. Being Content, no matter the Circumstance

This is a big one too. I find I have always struggled with this. Being content seems to be an impossible feat! The world we live in is one giant candy shop where you can never seem to get enough of the good stuff. Advertisements, social media, television, you name it. Everywhere you go someone is trying to sell you something. Trying to tell you you aren’t good enough, that you don’t have enough stuff, you need more, you need this, you need that. How is one supposed to be happy with what they have when everything is being shoved before your eyes on a silver platter every day? I am very thankful for what I have, and the people I have in my life, and I have absolutely NO reason to need more. Even if I never get to travel like in Goal #3, I need to be content in the home and province and country God placed me. Even if I don’t ever get my “dream home”, or write a novel, or make more money etc. I need to be content. The absolute worst thing to be doing is wishing for more stuff and a better life. I am very blessed. So this year I strive to be CONTENT with my wonderful life.

So there it is, some things to motivate me this year and keep me busy! It is a year of change I think. And true accomplishments. Even though these might be small, they are meaningful. Happy new year everyone! I wish you all well on your resolutions and new year endeavors!

…Miss Blue…

The Power of Selfishness

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drawing I did in 2004

There is a power, a power so great, it takes hold of your heart, and then its too late.

It starts to define you, and take you away from what you once knew.

The damage is deep, but you don’t see it coming, it is smooth, it is slick, it is undeniably cunning.

A motherless child, a heartbroken spouse, the death of a loved one, your time has run out.

It starts with misfortune, and turns into resentment. The anger you feel can render you senseless.

The power feels good at the start, you think you can control it, you think you owe it to your broken heart.

But beware of its grip that grabs hold so tight, it can wriggle inside you and wreak havoc on your spirit, mind and sight.

The power is like a blanket of hate that slowly descends upon each spiteful act, you abandon reason for madness, you feel the need to attack.

You can lose hope, friends, love, and kindness, it feasts on those things and gains more strength from your blindness.

Don’t let this power of selfishness overtake you. The power won’t stop spreading until you let go of what hurt you.

To be selfless seems like an impossible feat, but anyone can master it, you don’t need to lie, steal and cheat.

Take care of your heart, before everything around you begins to fall apart.

Forgive and forget, believe, pray for healing, being selfish will never fix all the hurt you’ve been feeling.

Don’t drive out your friends, the people that love you, because in the end when you need someone most, they will be the ones you can come to.

…Miss Blue…

A Maritime Wedding Reception

On August 8th, I took a road trip with my sister and her 3 friends, 2 from Ottawa, and 1 from Newfoundland, to PEI for my sister’s wedding reception. It was kind of an informal wedding, with no ceremony, just food and a dance, speeches, and of course pictures! My sister had her wedding ceremony back in December, and just did her party/reception later. So the overall experience of the weekend consisted of rushing around, chaos, setting up the reception hall and attempting to get the entire wedding party together at the same time to go and get pictures done before the the rain came and prevented it all from happening. The party was originally being set up outside in my Aunt’s beautiful backyard, but since it was raining heavily on and off all day, we had to bring everything inside the little reception hall. It was a little crazy but it all managed to get done! Here are some shots of the day, taken by my sister’s friend with my Nikon D60 SLR, and then edited by me in photoshop.

The first few are of the bridesmaids.

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The fam! Me, mom and dad with my sister.

DSC_0194_edit3_screenMe and my husband.

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Everyone together!DSC_0220_edit2_screen

I took these ones of bride and groom and the groom’s family.

 

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My brother in law with my cousin’s daughter.

And lastly, I took this pic of my sister with her two friends from out of town.

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All the pictures were taken in my Aunt’s beautiful backyard in Argyle Shore, PEI. The weather managed to stay tame for us while we got them done. My aunt was good enough to take some more pictures with her even more fancy camera, and she will be sending them my way soon! I will be editing and posting some of those as well. Like, comment, share, let me know your thoughts!

PS: Check out my photography and graphic design portfolio blog for more shots I took of the wedding day, http://caitlincahillonline.wordpress.com/

…Miss Blue….

 

 

 

 

 

Potential Insomnia?

Symptoms of insomnia:

  • Lie awake for a long time before you fall asleep
  • Sleep for only short periods
  • Be awake for much of the night
  • Feel as if you haven’t slept at all
  • Wake up too early

It’s dark. It’s late. I’m tired. Or at least I think I am. I’m supposed to be. It’s 2am. Staring at different objects in the dark, hearing all the strange, peculiar sounds of the dead of night. Shadows look as if they are moving, forming into things…creeping and crawling around. No it’s not real, it’s just the insomnia. Squeeze eyes shut.

Eyes open. It’s 2:23am. I slept for 23 minutes. I think. Rolling over, once, twice, three times. Still no relief. Nothing feels comfortable. It’s darker than it was at 2am. My eyes start adjusting. I want to sleep. My body is begging me to shut down. My brain resists. Maybe I will walk around. Dragging my tired limbs out of bed I stub my foot on a suitcase in the middle of the room. It’s dark, the suitcase is black. Ow. Why is it there? I should unpack…Wandering to the bathroom. My face looks scary in the dark. Dark holes for eyes. Zombie…ghost-like. I run cold water and splash it on my face. I hear a cat wining outside; shuffling around in the night. I walk into the living room. There is a street light outside. Moths fluttering around it. It’s so quiet. Too quiet. I can hear myself breathing. Walk into the kitchen. The refrigerator is humming. Kitchens are eerie in the dark.

It’s 3:30am. I passed out sitting upright on the couch. Something wakes me. A brush of cold air. How long was I sleeping? I don’t remember even falling asleep. My eyes are burning. I walk to the bedroom door. The Mister still sound asleep. How does he do it? Burning with envy. I’m so tired. Starting to get a dizzying feeling. Fuzzy vision. Nothing feels quite normal. Stuck in between reality and illusion. The shadows start to creep. A shape moves towards me. Dark, cold, I feel it float around me. Torturing me, teasing me. It’s not real.

I sink into my insomnia’s spell. The room is now dancing with dark shapes. I reach out to touch them. They float out of reach. Things out of my dreams start creeping into my living room. Nothing makes sense. I find my way to the couch. I lay down and watch things dancing on the ceiling, on the walls. I don’t know if I’m scared or entertained. But I think the morning is coming soon.

Taken by force I slip into a dreamlike state, venturing outside of myself with the creatures of the night. Waiting for morning to save me.

…Miss Blue…

The Fleeting Blur of my Wedding Day

Hair appointment…9 o’clock. Must shower, groom, pack overnight bag, pack clutch, eat a good breakfast, finish wedding slide show, print vows, practice vows…it’s 6:30am…have to get up…have to start the day.
The whim of things flooding my mind for this monumental day that lie ahead of me…it was thrilling yet exasperating. I couldn’t figure out what to do first. The past week had been a nightmare. Little to no sleep, nit-picking about every little detail I could think of, arguing with my soon to be husband about irrelevant things, stressing over things that didn’t need to be stressed over, spending countless hours decorating the reception hall and changing my mind at the last-minute about so many things. Being a perfectionist was not at all helping me this week.
I dragged myself off the floor in the office (which is where I slept because all the beds were full of family members who spent the night). I couldn’t remember sleeping much, yet my eyes were wide and alert. I felt wired, but at the same time I felt weak and my mind was mush. It’s okay, after I have a shower I will feel much better. I stood under the running hot water trying to get my mind off my “to do list” for just a few minutes. I needed some relaxation before this day really began. I had been working on a slide show for the wedding for what felt like a month and it still wasn’t finished. So I spent the next hour trying to piece it together. I took a few bites of scrambled eggs and gnawed at my fingernails desperately trying to perfect the slide show, knowing that over 100 people would be watching it later that night.

My mom was up now and trying to get me to eat more. But I couldn’t. My stomach was in knots and my mind was racing. Some more people got up. My aunt and grandma were in the kitchen now too. Everyone’s asking me questions, but I’m only hearing rambling. My eyes are glued to my computer screen. The girls were up now. My cousins, aka my bridesmaids. Everyone’s wandering around the kitchen. The chaos was about to begin. I decided my slide show was taking up too much time. I gave up. I gave it a quick ending and closed the computer down. Okay, one less thing on my plate. Have to be at the hair salon in an hour.

After a lot of running around, we finally got out to the car. We managed to squeeze all 6 girls into my cousin’s Toyota Matrix and then we rushed off to the salon. The morning was going pretty good, until we got to the salon. I sat down with my hair dresser and she began. I got my whole head of hair curled, which took a really long time, and I couldn’t help but start nodding off in the salon chair. My photographer was there snapping pictures of me and my bridesmaids while our hair is getting done. I was so tired I could barely smile for her. I noticed the bags under my eyes in the mirror. My skin looked dry and red. I don’t feel like a bride today.

My girls are done their hairdos before me. One after the other, they are complaining that they don’t like how it looks. Oh no. Can this be happening? One by one they have the salon manager trying to fix their dos. I try to just stay relaxed. They’ll be okay. My hair is all I need to worry about. Just breathe. Finally I am off to get my makeup done. It’s been two hours, and now I’m starting to get hungry, and when I’m hungry I get cranky. This can’t be good! As she is doing my makeup I keep a mirror handy so I can see how it’s coming along. I don’t like my face today. I look tired. How is my makeup going to look good with this face! More and more is put on, I still looked tired. I felt ugly. I started to feel my emotions twirl inside me. The stress of the week, the high tension, going on no sleep and little food. My eyes started to well up. My makeup artist was looking concerned. She was trying to do my makeup and tears were starting to form in my eyes. “Are you okay honey?” I’m ugly, I’m ugly, was all I could think of. And then the tears started pouring down and I was sobbing uncontrollably. What a nightmare! Only one of my bridesmaids was here with me now, the others went to run an errand. She tried to cheer me up. Everyone was looking at me. Other customers saw me crying and making a fool of myself. “It’s okay just go to the washroom and take a minute.” She said. I run off to the washroom. It only got worse! I was breathing funny, my eyes were puffy, and turning redder by the second. All the makeup was getting ruined! Oh no, I’m a bridezilla…was going through my mind. My bridesmaid, Janelle, came into the bathroom trying to calm me down. Once I start crying it’s hard to stop. I had erratic sounds coming out of me, and my voice was creaking. Could this day possibly get any worse?

After a good twenty minutes of trying to stop crying and calm my nerves, and Janelle consistently waving a fan in my face and saying “Think good things, Bora Bora, Bora Bora” and having tea bags put on my eyes to calm the swelling…the makeup managed to get done. Everyone at the salon, especially my makeup artist, did an amazing job at helping me through it. They were patient and accommodating. I was able to leave the salon smiling. Okay, On to the next…

Back to my full house. Grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, a baby and a photographer. One house, two bathrooms, and 19 people. The girls were stuffed into one bathroom trying to fix their hairdo which they weren’t pleased with, and putting on their makeup. Aunts, uncles, grandparents were everywhere. We had one baby and two thirteen year olds; they were THANKFULLY behaving. So I had to get on my dress and jewelry and stuff my face with some kind of food before I passed out. The photographer was snapping pictures everywhere; I had to look pleasant while eating and getting ready. The whole couple hours went by so fast. You could only imagine how fast the food went with 19 people in the house. I managed to get two chicken fingers and some veggies and dip.

Somehow we all got out the door on time after a hot mess of 6 girls running around painting fingernails, fixing hair, doing makeup, getting dressed and getting pictures taken all at the same time. My dad described us as “6 girls aimlessly going around in circles at the bottom of the staircase squealing, dropping things, losing things and running into each other”. Sounds about right.

How I managed to squeeze everything I needed into one little clutch and go out the door is beyond me. But now we were on our way to the church. The ceremony started in about twenty minutes. I was feeling a lot better than I was at the salon. I felt more beautiful now, my dress was on, my makeup was fixed, my hair was staying in place. It was time for me to walk down the aisle. My nerves were somewhat shaky, but I was smiling and ready to go!

When we arrived there weren’t as many cars as we thought there would be and we are told that the church is still half empty! A bunch of people hadn’t arrived yet. So my dad and I sat in the car outside waiting for the cue to come in. We were both a bundle of nerves, but we carried on mindless conversation to keep us sane. What was going through my dad’s mind was probably how scared he was to give away his oldest daughter to another man. What was going on in my mind was walking down the aisle with my dad, the most influential and only real man in my life, arm in arm and hugging him “goodbye”, so to speak, as I declared my love and companionship to the new man of my life. It was intense to say the least.

So then we saw two cars full of people show up (my mom’s side of the family) and that was when we were given the go ahead to come inside. The next hour of the reception I could only describe as emotional, clumsy and yet…memorable. I could tell Nathaniel was nervous because of the sweat dripping down his face. But even so, he smiled at me lovingly through the whole thing. And as for me, even though my emotions went crazy at the hair salon that morning, and I thought I was drained from tears; the tears and emotions came back during the reading of my vows. I was amazed that I even got through them. The whole congregation was sniffling behind me as I struggled to get through them. I could hear my bridesmaids sobbing behind me. At one point I couldn’t see my vows anymore through the water that was built up in my eyes, so I had to ask for a tissue. I looked down to see my tear-stained dear little grandmother reaching up to me with a tissue in her hand. I graciously took it and wiped my face, wiping the sweat from Nathaniel’s face in the process. I got through the vows, my emotions were very clearly overflowing the whole way through them. The pastor even mentioned to everyone how impressed he was with how sincere our vows were. Good, I thought. It was real, and heartwarming. Very good.

The next few hours we posed for over a thousand pictures, in different locations. It was a beautiful day, but we were all sweating in the sunlight as our cheeks hurt from smiling at the camera. Nathaniel and I were in a daze it seemed. We just did what we were told. We were both taking in the whole process of what had just happened. We were married. Finally. Just weeks before, tt seemed like the day would never come. The hardest parts were over-with. Now it was time to enjoy ourselves.

After the photo shoot, we had to race back to make it on time for the reception to start. But in the rush of the day we had forgotten to pick up our wine for the reception, and my maid of honor, Chelsea, had forgotten her speech at home. So on the way to the reception site we got the best man to drop us off at the liquor store while he took Chelsea to get her speech. Let me tell you about the looks we got in the store. Here we had a bride and groom in full attire running through the liquor store with some bottles of wine. We felt like celebrities, everyone was watching. We laughed and joked and just had fun with it. Our ride was taking a while, so we went into the grocery store and got some chocolate and mints too. Yes, we are ridiculous! Everyone was asking us questions, and looking at us like we were crazy, but we loved every minute of it. The next part was waiting for our ride to come back. It took quite a while, and we were beginning to think we were stranded at the grocery store! We didn’t even have our cell phones on us. Typical! We even got offered rides from strangers. But we held it together until our ride finally showed up. Off to the reception! Late…as usual.

My reception is the part of the day that whizzed by so fast, I barely remember it. Mind you, it was the most relaxing part of the day. We just had to sit there, eat, drink and occasionally stand up and kiss. But there were so many things jammed into such a small amount of time it seemed. As soon as we got there, things just took off. We walked in, sat down, the MC (my dad) ran us through what was going to go on through the night, we ate, we listened to speech after speech after speech (all of which were really awesome and much appreciated), we cut the cake, the dessert was put out, we watched the slideshow, more speeches, kissing, and then next thing you know it was time for the first dance. It hit us like a whirlwind. I was so caught up in all that was going on, that I only had one small plate of food. And I didn’t see or even try any of the amazing desserts that the kitchen crew made! The food was awesome and we had some really cool desserts planned out. But I didn’t get to see or eat any of it! There were chocolate and yogurt covered strawberries, chocolate mousse with mini chocolate chip cookies, shortbread cookies, fruit trays, cream cheese filled pastry puffs and more! At the time, I didn’t even think of it. Afterwards I was pretty bummed I didn’t get to try any of it. The cake we got was done at Costco and turned out beautifully, as well as 36 yummy chocolate and vanilla cupcakes from Suzy Shortbread. They were both excellent.

The night was light, fun and fancy free, among everything that was going on. The music was playing throughout the evening. We had oldies like Billie Holiday, Barry White and there was some Claude Debussy, Michael Buble, Louis Armstrong and Paul Simon. For the first dance we played “Hold you in my Arms” by Ray LaMontagne, and for the father and bride dance we played “Daddy” by Kendall Payne. It was all quite magical. I’ve never liked being the center of attention, but that day was really exhilarating. Everyone was watching me and everyone wanted to be around me and talk to me. It was very bizarre! It’s something that only happens once in a lifetime.

The dancing was by the far the most enjoyable part of the night. We had an absolute blast. My aunts and uncles joined in, even my parents! Not to mention my little baby cousin, barely a year old, sat in the middle of the crowd of people bouncing up and down on her knees and loving every minute of it! We all danced the night away, literally. I have never had so many people I love and care about in one place at the same time having a blast together. And I got to enjoy dancing to my favorite songs with all of them! The lights were dimmed, the music was loud, the people were happy. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
The night came to an end sooner than expected and everyone was leaving, we all started saying our goodbyes. There was so much going through my head by the night’s end. I was about to take off to spend the night, for the first time ever, with the man of my life at a cute bed and breakfast. So much to take in! All I know is that the stresses that lead up to the wedding day were so heavily condensed and overwhelming that I almost wasn’t able to just enjoy my day! It wasn’t until the chaotic morning was over was I really able to let loose and take it all in. But it really is amazing how short the day was. So much planning and sleepless nights for such a short day. I wouldn’t have changed anything that day, it went smoothly and everyone had fun, but I know for a fact I wouldn’t have fussed and frazzled so much for the months previous. It took me and Nathaniel a long time to learn to relax and not be running around 24/7 after our wedding day. I took the time to write out my feelings on the day in this blog so that I could remember some of the remnants of it all. But on the day of the wedding, I barely had time to think it was so crazy. I hope that those of you who read this and have yet to plan your wedding, take it from me…don’t put more on your plate than you need to! The day goes by so fast and people will barely remember the decor and the taste of the food. It’s all about enjoying it for yourself. It’s about you and your new husband/wife. Take it easy, let loose and try not to let your emotions and frustrations get the best of you! It is the life that comes after the big day that matters. And that is all I have to say about that 🙂